The Lighthearted Side of Teaching

A couple of weeks ago, I had a lesson with my Oral kids involving telling and retelling jokes. It went rather well, save for the last class which - no matter what I do - always looks like they're on the verge of falling asleep. I've learned just to ignore them, as a unit.

As a homework assignment, though, I told them they had to deliver by the next class: 1 Chinese joke translated into English.

It worked...kind of... a lot of them were just jokes. Nothing Chinese about them... but they're still funny, and they still served my purposes.

Here are some of the highlights (grammar mistakes and all... I think it adds character):

Snake Talk
Two snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the other, "Are we poisonous snakes?"
The other replied, "You're darn right we're poisonous! we're rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?"
To which the first replied, "Because I just bit my tongue."

. . .

The Bear and The Rabbit
There was once a bear and a rabbit that hated each other. One day, they found a genie in a lamp who said he would grant them each three wishes. The bear went first and he said, "I wish to be the only male bear in this forest." And he got his wish. The rabbit said, "I want a motorcycle helmet." And he got his wish. The bear went up and said, "I wish to be the only male bear in the Unite States, and all the rest to be female." And he got his wish. The rabbit said, "I wish I had a motorsysle to go with that helmet" And he got his wish. The bear said, "I wish I was the only male bear in the world and all the rest were females." And he got his wish. It was the rabbit's turn, and he said, "I wish the bear was gay."

. . .

A farmer wanted to kill a chicken tomorrow, so he fed the chicken and said, "enjoy your supper, this is your final dinner." Next day, the chicken has died with a posthumous paper near him which said, "I have eaten the rat poison, you can never eat me, I am not a chicken easy to tangle with."

. . .

Soldier: Commander, we got a telegram from the Senior Officer just now.

Commander: OK: It must be an urgent task. Read it to all members quickly.

Soldier: Because of your silliness and disability, the fight is in a total mess. You're a pig!

Commander: This is a secret telegram. Try to interpret it.

. . .

One day a psychiatrist comes to see one of his patients singing lying in the bed. He thinks it is pretty good because the patient may come to normal. So he sits there to watch the patient singing. He enjoys the song. Suddenly, the patient turns his face against the bed. The psychiatrist is curious and he asks: Why do you do that? The patient answers: How damn stupid you are! The A side is finished so I turns to side B!

In between sips of Coke