On holidays, next semester, and what lies beyond

It's rare here in Wenzhou that I really get (or take) the opportunity to say "time out" and think about what I'm going to do *next.* This is, obviously, because my job keeps me pretty busy (I'm running a homework deficit right now), and really, in my offtime, do I really really want to be contemplating my future? I'd rather write a blog, or play video games. But the question itself looms larger and larger with each passing day. I just realized last week that in less than a month, my stay here in China will be 1/2 over.....

What about after?

Certainly I have my options. It falls, ultimately, between returning home and staying on another year - either at the Medical College, or (more likely) another school/place entirely. Let's go over the options, shall we?

1. Stay in China
Following the summer return home (of course), there is the admittedly-tempting option to return to the PRC and continue teaching. Certainly I've met many people who've made precisely that decision. And it certainly does have its perks. We live, for lack of a better term, like kings here. What I am paid if far beyond what most people in China make. I can live extremely comfortably, and still actually save money. And here's the rub: every other foreigner I know working at a private school makes considerably more money than I do, all the while doing less actual work. All-too-often I'm given looks of amazement and pity when I disclose over a bar drink to a new friend that, yes, I am expected to give and grade homework.
There is also the girl factor. This, as anyone who knows me well, well-knows, often throws me for a loop in decision-making. Why would I want to leave a place where the girls are literally lining up to go out with me... attractive girls, at that. Chalk it up to, I dunno, maybe more maturity, though... but that particular allure doesn't seem to be holding nearly as much weight as it once did. Even factoring in current g/f... does that make me cold? hard? shallow? ... I don't think so.

2. Return to the U.S.
Option number 2 also has its share of allure. This, of course, was the de facto plan upon arriving here in lovely Wenzhou. Stay a year, GTFO. Go back to the states, and sit myself firmly back in the desk labelled "student." (A much more familiar position for me!) This option, despite the economic convulsions the world has been facing, has lost little of its lustre. I said (only 1/2 joking) that if McCain won the election, I was going to stay in China for at least 4 years. Well, he didn't. A man I truly believe in will be firmly planted in the White House by the time I set foot on U.S. soil again, making any possibility of returning all the more alluring. I've begun looking at schools with grad programs applicable to my areas of interest (haven't decided if I should be looking at education programs, history programs, or some other mysterious "door #3" program yet), and I find my appetite for continued learning once again whetted.
And despite my coninual (and completely sincere) adulation of the life I'm leading here, the people I'm meeting, and the job I'm doing... all that silver lining doesn't cover up the shit I see on a daily basis. China's developing, and developing rapidly (almostly dangerously fast, some might say)... but that doesn't change the fact that its still largely a 3rd world country full of ignorant, rude people living in shit-shacks, controlled by a government who tolerates as little dissent or free thought as its can manage in an era of Internet (I have to run many websites - even perfectly legitimate ones - through "proxy" servers which mask my location and identity so I can A. actually view the pages and B. not get arrested for it).
And despite the fact that I really like the people I meet here - they all offer completely unique and interesting perspectives on the world - there's something about the vast majority of them (I'm talking about the permanant residents, overwhelmingly) that strikes me as off... an example I wish of avoid following: many of them seem to be running from their lives. You read the correctly. China and its ilk (East-Asian, developing nations with a rabid desire for English teachers at all levels), offer this amazing safe-harbor for people simply unable to cope with the pressures and, yes, difficulties of the so-called "real world." As I said before, we live like kings here... and I'm the smallest king, doing the most work. I do not mind this. I consider it a learning experience; a chance to get some live-fire training in a potential carreer path. But if I wanted to - as several others have outright told me they're doing - simply avoid bacome a functional member of society ad infinitum, this is definitely the place to do it. Many private schools require that you basically show up, and you've done your job.... and you get paid ludicrously to do so. I'm making 5500 RMB/month, with no taxes. Though this converts to a mere ~$800/month if you do a direct exchange, it spends more like $3000 here. I have no living costs, so it's all gravy, too. And, I'll state once again, I'm at the very low end of the payment totem pole. Had I no aspirations other than living comfortably, why ever leave? I am paid simply because I am white. That's the end-all-be-all of it. I have this job, this pay, this life, because of the color of my skin, the language I naturally speak, and the country I am from. And that, in contrast to many others, is actually a reason for me not to stay.

If nothing else, this experience here has taught me that I do, in fact, have pretty high goals for myself. I may not always be able to spell them out, or define them... but I see myself a more than just someone paid to be a white English speaker.

Well, I guess the title was somewhat misleading. I'll get around to the holidys next time.

Sincerely Yours,
I Am,
(CS)WC Out.

In constant sorrow all through his days