1.
First of all, buy a travel wallet – preferably one with a snap-belt function. Put you wallet, passport, and any ticket you buy there… and keep it on you (as in strapped to your body) at all times. You might feel silly at first, but all the foreigners (and most of the Chinese peddlers) are wearing them. And you won’t feel NEARLY as silly (not to mention frustrated, enraged, and helpless) as if you get your wallet pick-pocketed. Wear it under your outer layers, but over whatever undershirt you might be wearing. That brings be to…
2.
Bring a travel pillow. Long flights, and long train rides are hard on your neck. You definitely want one of these. I recommend an inflatable one, so it doesn’t take up too much space when not in use.
3.
Dress for anything. That means layers. When I’m out travelling, no matter how nice the day is, I usually wear at least 2 shirts, and have more layers in my bag – just in case. You don’t want to be miles from your hotel and have it start raining. Trust me.
4.
Bring comfortable shoes. Of course, but do not underestimate the amount of walking you’re going to be doing. There’s no tram to the top of the Great Wall, and no tour bus through the Forbidden City. You’re hoofing it. Be comfortable.
5.
Digital Camera! I’d actually shy away from a camera that’s too bulky. The point-and-shoot Cannon Coolpix (mine) is, I’ve found, perfect for travel. Lightweight, and with a fast startup time. It’s great to just be able to whip it out and get a couple of shots off of the parade that just happened to be going by on that day. Yes, the bigger digital SLR’s are great too… they’re just not quite as suited to being on the move, or for spontaneous shots, which you’ll probably find are the best ones. Maybe bring one of each?
6.
Pack plenty of batteries. Yes, you can always buy more batteries here, but China is well-known for peddling, ahem, “second-hand” products. I’ve gone through several sets of Chinese batteries in a single day with my camera. American batteries are where it’s at. When/if you do need to resupply, eat the extra yuan you think you’ll save, and just buy the Energizer brand. You won’t regret it.
7.
Start a travel journal! You’ll be seeing so many things, and going at such a lightning pace, that it helps tremendously to write everything down at least once a day. Otherwise, you will forget those little details. It gives you a chance to decompress your day onto either paper, or your computer, should you choose to bring it. And it’s great to look back later and think, “Oh yeah! We went to that great little restaurant!”
8.
Spring for nice hotels (5 star, if you can). You’re on vacation. You’re in a developing country. No matter how insanely cheap the room is, it’s not going to be a good deal after a day of walking and getting around in China. You will want a flatscreen TV with English movies, you will want a luxurious shower, you will want a spring-coil bed. You want you room to be a comfortable retreat from the rest of your trip. Not an extension of the 3rd-World. They’re still very cheap comparatively… so, if nowhere else on the trip, don’t be a miser when it comes to hotel arrangements.
9.
Carry your own toilet paper!!! – Yes, the Chinese invented paper, but they’re sure as hell stingy with it. Everyone here carries their own pack of TP, and you should be no different. Fail in this, and you’ll find yourself is some… uncomfortable situations.
10.
Beware the public bathrooms! Never before have you encountered a more wretched hive of…. Ugh. Holes in the floor. Smells that kill flies. It’s ungodly. Really. I hate the squat-toilets here. Hate them with a molten passion. They are, quite literally, open cesspools. If at all possible, wait to find a McDonald’s, KFC, or make it back to your hotel. You just don’t want to go there.
11.
Buy a “Lonely Planet: China” Guidebook. These guidebooks are portable, and comprehensive. I wish I had one. They tell you sights to see, the history of a location, hotels, restaurants, and entertainment nearby. There really is no substitute. They’ll be at your local Barnes & Noble or Borders, guaranteed.
12.
Get the business card from your hotel. In fact, get a couple. You can then pull it out (of your travel wallet, of course) and give it to a taxi-driver, or show it to a local when you want to head back. It’s the simplest way to get back to your home-base… and one of the easiest things to forget to do. Heck, you can save them and put them in your scrap book when you get back, too!
13.
Chinese people do not look at or understand maps. Just so you know. It seems like a really good idea to have a map of a city… and for your own knowledge and sense of place, it is! But for getting around, don’t count on any local help when deciphering the map. Most Chinese people simply do not think like that, and have never ever seen an overhead shot of their town. Not even the hotel desk-girl could find a Shanghai street when I asked… on her own map. You’re better off just asking for an address or intersection name. Really.
14.
Remember: You get what you pay for. The old maxim applies doubly, if not triply here in the land of dragons. Sound too good to be true? It probably it. Those fine leather shoes with solid gold straps that this upstanding gentleman will sell to you (at a special, limited-time price because he likes you)… will last you a good 15 minutes should you, in fact, decide to part with your hard-earned kuai. Pay accordingly.
15.
The RMB may sit at 6.82:$1, but treat it more like ½-1/3 of a dollar when pricing. Yes, when you convert it back, that shi(r)t you paid 80RMB for at the great Wall was only $13… that doesn’t make it a good deal. You’re still getting ripped off. There are some things (like a Great Wall shirt) that you should buy, even though they ARE overpriced. But if asked by a local… tell them you paid about 1/10 of whatever you actually did. Don’t make the rest of us look bad. The sooner we can dispel the image that all Westerners are obscenely rich and have absolutely no idea of pricing, the better off we’ll all be.
16.
Don’t exchange your money at the hotel, if you can avoid it. The hotels bank on travelers using their very convenient exchange services. And they charge for it. You won’t be getting the exchange rate you ought to. Also avoid the airline terminal, as they’ll be the worst. Instead try to find a bank ASAP that will exchange for you at the true rate (Bank of America, HSBC, Bank of China and International Construction Bank of China are your best bets).
17.
Remember that you are a curiosity. People will stare, and there’s nothing that you can do. You will be looked at, sized up, gawked over, giggled at, talked about, and will here the semi-awed phrases “laowai” and “waiguoren” (both meaning “foreigner”) more times that you will be able to remember. (Not so much in Beijing or Shanghai) Try not to get frustrated (notice, I said try). Many of these people have rarely, if ever, seen a white person outside of the movies. Also, many Chinese people are not known for their subtlety. Depending on your personality, mood, phase of the moon, weather patterns, and any other factors that moment… such attention can make you feel like either a movie star, or a zoo exhibit. Just keep in mind that it’s almost always a very sincere, naïve curiosity and, yes, awe. Tell that to your fist when it wants to deck the guy who will…not….stop….staring….
18.
Be prepared for photo-ops/English-lessons. Chinese people will, in all likelihood, stop you on the street from time to time. This might be for photo ops… but probably not in the bigger cities. What they will mostly want is to practice their English with you, and maybe exchange emails. Don’t feel any pressure to do either. Yes, they’re friendly, but that doesn't change the fact that many of them are using you as a practice dummy. I charge 100RMB for an hour of speaking English with someone. It’s a valuable commodity, so don’t feel like you’re being rude by not taking time out of your day for an impromptu chat about the weather. Your time is valuable, too. Be especially cautious of people with amazingly good English wanting to show you a great tea ceremony/other “local Chinese thing.” You may find yourself out a few hundred kuai for 6 cups of tea. Yes, company plants exist. Yes, they’re good at what they do.
19.
Trust the locals. If they’re eating there, it’s a pretty safe bet.
20.
Be careful chewing meat dishes. Chinese people consider meat cooked with bone to be more delicious and better for you. Great, no problem there. The problem arises in the fact that they’ll just hack through bone and sinew and cook it all… leaving sharp shards of bone just waiting for you soft inner palate to munch down on it. Chew carefully.
21.
Revel in your touristy-ness. One of the major benefits of being a laowai is that you are an outsider. You are weird, you’re strange, and people will be interested in what you’re doing and think you’re some weirdo regardless of what you’re doing. Take full advantage. On my last trip, I climbed up a guardian piqiu statue outside a temple and victoriously posed for photos on its head because no one was going to stop me. This might be a little far-out for you now (but give it a few months), but heed my advice. If ever there was a time to take pictures of every little thing, make funny poses, explore interesting places and things, and just generally be silly, now is the time. If you’re really not supposed to go there/do that, a policeman/Red Guard will let you know (in a friendly way, don’t worry, just act confused and they’ll very helpfully show you the right way to go). But most of the time, people will let you get away with things that any Chinese person would never do in a million years. So be touristy. Be silly. It’s the upside of being foreign, so use it! Just don’t abuse it… you’re aiming for a good time and amused stares from the locals (“look at those silly, weird laowai”), not angry stares (“look at those awful, disrespectful laowai!”)
22.
You’re also a target. Don’t worry, the violent crime rate in China is next-to-nothing. Sure there are some places you’re not gonna want to go at night (which for you guys probably isn’t a problem anyway), but I’m mainly referring to 2 things. Thieves/pickpockets, and beggars. The thieves bit is nothing new. If your hotels have a safe, put your things in it. Who knows where they hire the maids from, or how many months salary hocking your laptop would earn her? Pickpockets will mostly be thwarted by your travel-wallet, and keeping a sharp eye. They can only operate if they stay unknown. So if you feel like you’re being stalked by a set of eyes or two (á la lion stalking a gazelle) from across the avenue, chances are you’re not paranoid. Be on your toes, and just keep yourself from looking like a soft, easy target. They don’t want any trouble.
23.
Beware of beggars. If you’re feeling particularly generous, it’s no harm to give to a beggar… but beware of the flocking effect (think Finding Nemo: mine…mine…mine mine mineminemineminemine). And after being panhandled the same way 19 different blocks in a row, you’ll feel your generosity start to give out. Trust me, these people set up franchises. There’s nothing to pity about them. If they wanted jobs here, they could get them. They are parasites who infect children with the same uselessness by turning them into more of the same. There are not the same laws as there are in the US, so they’ll follow you, cajole you, even send children to occasionally latch onto your leg. Do not tolerate this. If one of the tries to grab or otherwise touch or impede you, make it perfectly clear that doing so is not good for their health. Children present a different problem. How to get them off of you? This won’t happen nearly so often, but it may happen. This is pretty much the only time I’ll be cajoled into giving into such tactics. Otherwise, utterly ignoring them, and walking away is your best bet. Don’t give them the time of day, and eventually you’ll lead them far enough away from their base of operations that they’ll give up. Again, by giving, you really just encouraging them to continue begging… sounds heartless, but here, at least, it’s true. All they see you as is a big, white cash machine.
24.
Lines, or the lack thereof. The concept of a line is, apparently, still a fairly novel – and certainly optional – concept here. You will find that your Western manners are thoughtlessly disregarded here, when referring to politely lining up and waiting your turn. People will shamelessly cut right in front of you, shove money at a teller from the side… when you’ve clearly been waiting your turn for the last 15 minutes. After reading up on this phenomenon, I’ve learned that it is your job to not let people cut in front of you. If someone is able to, good for them. It’s your fault for not maintaining the integrity of the line and your rightful place in it. Therefore, feel no remorse in utilizing your elbows, arms, and hands to “put up the block” and guard your line place. You are not being rude; you are doing what is expected of you. The “cutter” will not be angered by this, but will simply back off, now knowing that your place in line is not to be messed with. This is true at the McDonald’s, just as it is at the bus stop. The rule of law does not apply to Chinese lines; it still exists in the medieval realm of rule through strength.
25.
Traffic and Street-Crossing. You’ve heard my commentary on this before, but I’ll reiterate. Traffic lights, signs, lanes, and other signals we take as dogmatic law in the US pretty much amounts to polite suggestion in China. Never before have you seen such an elegant clusterfuck of cars, busses, scooters, bicycles, and pedestrians. This is a big category, so I’ll break it down into sections:
a.
Automobiles – In China, size is king. The bigger the car, the more power it has on the road. The “emperor,” then, is the public bus.
i. The bus will not stop, will not yield, and thinks he can pretty much do whatever he wants on the road. This is because he can. Do not underestimate this. Busses are dangerous to pedestrians, but useful to ride… if you can figure out where it is going. They are very cheap, but often VERY crowded. Keep your wallet close-at-hand on one.
ii. Cars and trucks are more sensitive to your will to live. They’ll honk, and swerve out of your way while crossing the street. Taxis can be very, very useful. The driver should know where it is you want to go (try to get both a pronunciation and written directions beforehand), and if he doesn’t, just get out and find another. Taxi services can range in price, but are almost always between 10-14 RMB as their base-charge. This will usually get you 1.5Km, and then the meter begins to tick. Use the meter. If the cabbie doesn’t immediately turn it on, ask him to (alternately, point to it emphatically).
iii. Riding in a taxi/car: Do not, repeat: do not watch the traffic, if you can help it. Bury yourself in talking to each other, looking at maps, reading a book. Until you are used to how traffic works in China (usually takes at least a month), watching it while in a car will scare the hell out of you. This is especially true in the passenger front seat. You will feel like you’re about to die. Look backward.
b.
Scooters and bicycles – the “little guys” of the road, they’ll overwhelm you in sheer number. Get used to the “jing-jings” of bicycle bells as they go whizzing past you, mere inched from your arm.
c.
Pedestrians – Yes, you are the “low man” on this totem pole, and you’d better get used to it in a hurry. Unlike the West, where traffic yields to any Tom, Dick, or Harry crossing the street, if you’re used to a car slowing down if you’re on a collision course with them, you’ll be in for a nasty shock. The pedestrian is always the one who has to get out of the way. Three techniques for your health and safety, from beginner to advanced:
i. Find packs of locals, sidle up to them, and cross with them. You gain strength in numbers. Enough people crossing the street, and eventually not even a bus could plough through that many bodies. If the group stops, stop; if the group runs, run. Keep up with them. They are your armor.
ii. You know the game Frogger, don’t you? (if you don’t, Google the word and play for a while online) That was actually a game preparing you to cross the street in China. Just like your amphibious avatar, you don’t necessarily need to cross the whole street at once. Just one lane at a time. Find the holes in traffic and hop on through to the next lane. There is nothing strange about standing in the middle of the street while cars whizz past you on either side.
iii. After a week or two of playing Frogger, you will suddenly notice that the Force is with you, and that the elbowing people aside in crowds thing has taken on a larger aura. You will notice for the first time that a car actually swerves out of the way if you play chicken until the last moment. You will walk closer to the cars than you did before, scoot in and out of the hundreds of bicycles, and avoid scooters with ease.
I've found a few quasi-"guides" online for
Beijing and
Shanghai, and so I also recommend looking through them. I'll post more, as well as my own guides, etc, as I get the opportunity.
Cheers.
(CS)WC Out.
Goddamn you half-Japanese girls
