Update from Bureaucratic Hell

Title: Update from Bureaucratic Hell

OK, fine, not exactly... it's at the very least giving me a headache and making me a bit piqued in the face, though. I'll start at the beginning...

Several weeks ago... not exactly sure... my "nanny" Xiaoxian came into our office and presented us with the finals schedule, which - as expected - had been made with absolutely no consultation from any of us. As it was, I was scheduled to give my last tests on June 17th, one of the last days of the finals. Thinking that the schedule was, well, set, I didn't raise a fuss over it, and simply began planning how I could still adhere to my own departure schedule. The answer presented itself in recalling what some of my own professors have done from time to time: simply move the final test to the last day of class... in this case, June 2nd and 4th.

I brought it up with each and every class of students: "are there any objections, any schedule conflicts, to us moving the test to the last day of class? If you don't want to bring them up now, you can talk to me after class in private." Not only did no one raise any objections... as I suspected, they were all rather happy at the idea of simply getting a test over with sooner. I know from personal experience, that finals week tends to be hellacious for students, and that moving a test to earlier is actually a great relief.

So it seemed set, and I was on my way to departing by the 20th, as I'd hoped to. And here's where the big mistake was made: when sending in my 2 versions of the test (to curb cheating, as suggested by my professor father), I made mention of my schedule change to Xiaoxian, simply to clarify that I'd need both test versions back at the same time. The next day, she called me...

- I'd like to stop here for a moment and go on a minor tangent, if I may. I have nothing personally against Xiaoxian. I know her job is hard, and thankless, and I try try try to keep that in mind at all times. But the only times I ever see her are when I've done something "wrong." Ever. She starts in with this fake, forced-sounding into of "Hi, how are you doing today?" kind of thing, and before I can even really answer she's into her whole, "well you're doing this wrong..." bit. Last week I saw her and she said she "missed me"... but she never wants to find me unless it's to chide me about something. Is it any wonder, then, that I go out of my way to avoid her? That I regard her in many ways as a nemesis? That whenever I see her in the office or her phone number pops up on my phone, I feel the cold stone of dread in the pit of my stomach? Why the hell would I want to talk to you, if you only ever have negative things to say? And not even negative things about my teaching (which neither she nor any of the other faculty have ever come to watch), but rather these piddling, idiotic, bureaucratic details which I see as little more than things to make my life more difficult. Anyway...

She called me, and - par for the course - immediately launched into what she had a "problem" with... which was, of course, the scheduling.

"You are supposed to give the students 32 hours of lecture. If you do this, you'll only be giving them 30."

"Are you saying, then," I replied, already a bit incensed, "that I should not have given them a midterm test during class? That cut into the lecture time as well. By this definition, I've already failed, since the midterm took up about 2 class hours."

"That was different," she said, sounding surprised that I'd react this way. "We set up a finals time for you to give the test."

"What is the functional difference between giving a mid-term test during a class period, and giving a finals test during a class period, other than the names 'mid-term,' and 'final?'"

There was a slight pause, she had not anticipated this tact. She said something, which I cannot recall at the moment, since by this point my face was beginning to redden. Regardless, it was something about this scheduling being a problem.

"Where is the problem?" I asked, "Who has the problem? The teacher has no problem with this schedule, the students have not problem with this schedule. Where is the problem?"

"I showed you the finals schedule earlier. If you had a problem wit the layout, you should have asked me to change it."

"I had no idea it was changeable." I said, face getting a little more red, "As far as I knew, the schedule was already set. No one said anything about being able to change it."

"On monday, maybe Wang Dan (her superior) should discuss this with you."

"Will she say the same thing you're saying right now?"

"Yes."

"Then why waste her and my time? Don't bother."

Later on she texted me saying she'd look into trying to make the test earlier in the schedule... I'm not holding my breath on that one, though.

The call ended somewhat tersely. I think what angered me the most was that thing whole argument had happened because I had momentarily forgotten the Law which I normally hold above all others: "It is far easier to obtain forgiveness, than permission." It wasn't that someone really cared - hell, no one above Xiaoxian even knew about it - it was that I'd made the mistake in telling her my plan. Had I just kept my mouth shut, there would be no issue. But in trying to be upfront and honest about a change I was wanting to make, I got smacked down for no other reason than it was out of line with some obscure, bureaucratic process. Let no good deed go unpunished, indeed.

So here I sit. And the options lay before me as such:
1) Simply carry through with my initial plan and deal with any "repercussions" they throw at me. I'm quitting, it's not like they can fire me. It's not like they can really do anything at all. Still, it'd be nice to go out on a good note.

2) Obey. Needlessly wait an extra three weeks to give the test, which will almost certainly delay my departure, since I can't do all the paperwork/grades until the testing is done. This option is so against my mind that I'm inclined to rule it out entirely. Still, there it is.

3) Take a deep breath and hopehopehope that somehow she can rearrange the schedule to something more suitable. Ha.

4) Pay lip service. Give the test on the last day, but then hold some kind of meeting with the students on the 17th. This seems like a good plan, except they're planning on giving me some kind of "helper" since their schedule has me giving all 4 classes the test simultaneously, in 2 separate rooms. How would I convince them that I don't need the "helper" or the second room?

In closing, I'd just like to point out that all of this is little more than venting. I'm not expecting a great deal of help, or sympathy. It's just a big frustration right at the end when I'm busy doing a lot of other things, and trying to cope without having a great deal of access to a computer (I'm holding Nancy's hostage at the moment). Did I mention I had to rewrite both of my finals in about 3 days because my computer died the day I was planing on sending them to Xiaoxian. She then had the gall to insinuate I was "stalling." I made my displeasure at that insinuation clearly known. One way or another, I've got less than a month to go...

And it can't go by fast enough.

(CS)WC Out.

We drink from the river