Holiday(?)

I write this in between sips of Diet Pepsi and Eristoff tiple instilled premium vodka. Premium being, apparently, worth about 88 kuai… when the average imported (read: drinkable) liquor runs about 110-120/bottle. Still, it’s not bad at all. Quite nice, in fact. I think the aspartame of the Pepsi masks the taste of the vodka. One almost shudders to think what the non-premium version would be like.

I’ve just come off of my national holiday. The 60th anniversary of the Glorious and Harmonious founding of the Glory and Harmony that is the People’s (glorious) Republic (harmonious) of China (glormonious). I’m obligated, as it were, to discuss the translation error that seems to have occurred between Chinese and English. These things happen, of course. These are two very different cultures, with very different languages. Still, to a native English-speaker, the specific terminology of “holiday” does tend to conjure up rather explicit meanings. For instance: I’m not usually expected to “make up” a holiday’s missed hours. Work hours which would have normally fallen during a holiday, are most often simply written off as being, well… a holiday.

This is not the case in China. To channel Yakov Smirnoff for a moment, in Communist China, holiday takes youuuuuuuuuu….

To, ahem, “make up for” last weeks state-mandated lazification to observe the full power of this fully armed and operational state (2 pts. for getting the reference), were are now expected to run a double-shift this week. This, in spite of the fact that today, for instance, my class had a grand total of 2 children… one of whom was “test-driving” it to see if they wanted to sign up (and, somehow, I think I convinced them to). So one actual student. Uno. Eine. Un. 一个. One. Ten hours in the office… one actual customer served. I believe a McDonald’s might actually implode into a mathematical singularity.

But hell, I’m getting paid for it. And what else am I going to do with my time… other than enjoy the fine taste of Eristoff premium vodka (Eristoff CFO: please send the checks to No. 40 West Huaihai Rd, Apt. 104A)? After all, Nancy’s in Wenzhou at the moment… whisked away on the winds of fate by the wiles of a sister (which one? There are so many) having the gall to get proposed to. So yet another Sun is getting hitched. Which makes “mama” all the more impatient with her erstwhile Jienan… stubbornly clinging to singlehood, even though she has a perfectly good foreigner boyfriend. Yeah, that’s pretty much how I’m thinking it’s going right now. God knows Nancy’s getting the brunt end of her parents now. She may, in fact, be the only child of 8 at this point to not be either married, or officially headed in that direction. One wonders why her parents actually care so much… For chrissake, it’s not like they’re hurting for an heir. This, of course, is then reflected back on me… in addition to the internal kitchen timer ticking away inside her own skull. Yeah… so there’s that…

Oh Eristoff, take me away…



(CS) TAW Out.

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